User blog:Ceauntay/This Rotten Week: Predicting Horrible Bosses And Zookeeper Reviews
Whoo baby. The Rotten Watch is coming off a near sweep and feeling good this holiday weekend. This weekend, in honor of our great predictions, fireworks will go off all over this great nation of ours. This time around bosses get their comeuppance and zookeepers find love. Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let’s take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer. =Jane Hoop Elementary: The Final Rush: Part 2= It's the end of an era. Things are about to change since the very first movie Jane Hoop Elementary: The First was release 11 years ago. Eleven years, and eight books later, Danny, Rebecca and Alec (Blake Brown, Amy Tammie and Ben Linkin) grow up and are set to move on when calling it quits. What's going to happen to them in the future? Is there a life after Jane Hoop Elementary? Why not release a prequel? When reading the book, there are informations about the whole thing and they should explain to us about a prequel like the original heroes before them, which will seem to pretty interesting. Fans sold out many tickets throughout the country thinking that this will be better than the other films in the series, and I would believe one of you guys. But be in luck, one of them say that neither Goldenman's Revenge and The Magic Ball are the best films (books) in the series yet. But why don't they think that the series finale is the best one yet, and even though it's the end and they should end it with a big bang. If the sources lies says that this is the "Best Hoop Film Yet", you guys are liers! I will sing "I Told You So!". Jane Hoop Elementary: The Final Rush: Part 2 is rated 93%, the second highest best rating in the series since 2005's Jane Hoop Elementary: The Magic Ball which ranked 90%. 530px =Zookeeper= There are two sides to my persona. There’s the guy who enjoys reading and interpreting Pynchon, analyzing the Post-Impressionistic influences of Cezanne and Matisse, and heading down to the wine cellar every now and then for a bottle of Chateau Margaux. Then there’s the guy who laughed more than twice during the trailer for Zookeeper. Suffice to say these to “selfs” are moderately contradictory. In fact one of them has me plain worried. Now remember, not all movies need underlying levels of sophistication to do well with critics. In fact, some probably think all they need is a few talking animals (hell, who isn’t an anthropomorphic junkie?), moderate levels of screaming, pratfalls aplenty, and the epically farfetched: a fat zookeeper standing even a speck of a chance with her or her. That said, obviously Zookeeper stands no critical chance. It’s a Kevin James vehicle after all (Paul Blart: Mall Cop - 33%, The Dilemma - 21%), with a little directing “help” from Frank Coraci (Click - 33%). ** ** A quick reminder for newish readers: I tend to only go back a decade when analyzing directorial or acting work. I’m a “What have you done for me lately?” - kind of guy and Coraci’s logged a more than a few crappy miles since The Wedding Singer. Zookeeper is made for one purpose only. Know what it is? Did you say winning an Oscar? Close, but no, it’s to get pre-teens dragging their reticent parents to the theater, where they’ll drop a couple hundred middle class millions at the box office and get everyone paid. Man, actually that is kind of sophisticated. The Rotten Watch for Zookeeper is 27%. 530px =Horrible Bosses= Did you know there is a holiday called Bosses Day? According to this site, Boss’s Day is a time for “workers to appreciate their employers.” This is how we know holidays in the United States have gotten completely out of control. A concept surely originally meant to be monumentally sarcastic and moderately ironic is now given an actual recognized day. What is the world coming to? Although the holiday would make a little more sense if we celebrated it by pulling off what the characters in Horrible Bosses hope to accomplish: icing their superiors. Now that would make October 16th worth it. It’s tough to get a read on this comedy. On the one hand the cast is close to an all-star lineup, with huge names occupying even the lesser roles. But consider this when watching the trailer: Did you laugh because there is actual comedy happening, or do you just think it looks funny because it should be with all those big names and faces. Those are diverging concepts and it may be that Horrible Bosses suffers from the latter (a comb-over sporting Colin Farrell aside, he looks hilarious). My brain was laughing, but I didn’t even smile. Remember, comedies need to be complete, top-to-bottom affairs to gain critical success. Acclaimed documentary and panned comedic director Seth Gordon (The King of Kong - 97%, Four Christmases - 27%) helms a movie with fairly high expectations, but critics will see through the big names to a flawed film. I’m gambling here. The Rotten Watch for Horrible Bosses is 44%. 530px Recapping last week: Yes sir, the Rotten Watch had a strong showing. For a better part of the week I thought Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Predicted: 36% Actual: 38%) was going to be right on the nose. It ticked up slightly right at the end. Meanwhile, my sentiments about Larry Crowne (Predicted: 49% Actual: 35%) were right on, even if the score was lower than expected. The film looked a little too good to be true. Finally, Monte Carlo (Predicted: 30% Actual: 40%) falls just within ten percent. If anything, I thought my prediction was going to be too high. Shocked this many critics enjoyed it. Next week Harry Potter calls it quits. It’s going to be a Rotten Week! Category:Blog posts